Uh-oh, as humans we really only want the good emotions, don’t we! As a life coach we typically focus a lot of our attention on the mental and behavioural levels to assist our clients achieve the changes they desire. What we think has a direct impact on our actions/results – please note!
However we have 2 other vital parts that make us human beings – the emotional and spiritual levels. These 2 parts play an important part in how we live our lives and are what makes us uniquely us. These are also the sum of our lives and where messy lives, where the joy, happiness, peace is but also sadness, anger, guilt and fear. Fact – life is full of ups and downs and we are made up of mind and body. People love coaching because it helps them clear the blocks that stop them from achieving their goals. The biggest block of them all – emotions.
As humans, we spend most of our time trying to feel good and avoiding things or people that don’t. We learn to repress, suppress our emotions if we don’t have an outlet for that expression. EMotion is Energy in Motion, it travels within the body. Unexpressed emotion needs to be released.
An unprocessed emotion can have an impact on your wellbeing. It also has a tendency to be recycled again and again. Do you ever wonder why unwanted patterns within your life/relationships keep repeating? Do you self-sabotage your potential, your relationships but don’t know why? Well your nervous system runs the show – anxiety, old traumas and emotions can get stuck in the body. When we feel that warning signal we tend to move away from whatever could potentially cause that feeling or potential harm again – this is a learned response. When the emotion is pushed down or ignored we miss the opportunity to understand, to be curious, to be uncomfortable, or experience emotional pain (yes, I did say that) and that’s when we develop coping mechanisms.
Did you know there are 5 coping mechanisms which us humans adopt that can result in some unhealthy habits. For example 1 coping mechanism is ‘over’ doing things – over eating, over drinking, over sexing, over doing exercising, over working – do any of these resonate with you? All 5 coping mechanisms are covered in Post 2 – which ones are yours?
Don’t beat yourself up, you are not alone – anything to avoid emotional discomfort or to look within. We reach for the thing that numbs us or elevates us from our life-angst. As emotions can be tricky to deal with I have broken this blog post into 3 parts –
Post 1 why us humans need to process our emotions https://bright-lights-coaching.com/2022/02/09/whats-stopping-you-2/
Post 2 your coping mechanisms https://bright-lights-coaching.com/2021/09/26/coping-mechanisms/
Post 3 Release your past -10 x ways to process your negative emotions https://bright-lights-coaching.com/2022/02/09/release-your-past/
Holding on to negative emotion from your past requires a lot of energy, the more you hold on it the more exhausting and harmful it becomes. Ask yourself wouldn’t this energy be better spent in learning acceptance, open honest communication, learning to speak your truth. Allowing your emotions so they can draw to their natural conclusion and see them off on their way, uncovers a lighter, happier, freer you. When people talk about ‘baggage’ this is what they mean – lugging an invisible suitcase around full of repressed emotions that just don’t serve you.
Fear of being hurt, looking foolish, anger from what happened to you, the injustice of it…this loop of thoughts/feelings can keep you trapped in the past. Learning to live a life to the full is totally achievable when you learn to manage and process your emotions, enabling you to take the right actions for yourself and the people you care about.
Your life is a reflection of your ability to process your unresolved emotions
The key to inner harmony is living a heart-filled life, being able to set your sights on your goals and taking action towards them. It is totally achievable, I know because I have done it and have helped others achieve that balance too. It takes courage and authenticity and having healthy boundaries in place.
As someone who has struggled with expressing my emotions, living a successful life is one that is focused on letting go of the past, living in the present and creating my desired future.
Try life coaching…it will change your life.
At this point it’s important to make the distinction between counselling and coaching. As a coach my focus is on my client’s present and future to help them achieve their goals. I work with the whole person and so help my client process their emotions should they arise as part our coaching session. Counselling/therapy focus on helping people process a trauma in their present and past. Sometimes the client might require this type of care which as a coach I am not qualified to offer. One of the reasons for the free 30 minute chemistry check call is to ensure that my clients goal/agenda is suitable for coaching, that we are a good fit or if necessary redirect to someone who better suited for their needs.
Accredited Executive & Life Coach
Accredited by the World Association Of Coaching with Neuroscience
QQI Award Professional Coaching Practice & Ethics